That's all I really have to say at this particular juncture. Suffice it to say that I apologize for not writing, as I had completely forgotten about this poor blog for several weeks, perhaps months, until I noticed the link on my Facebook page, and sort of hung my head. Though, to be fair, things have been going substantially better in my life, which does not excuse the fact that I am not writing - or reading - nearly as much as I should be, but it IS somewhat nice to know that I am not slacking on writing because I'm being lazy. In fact, the opposite is closer to truth. I have been home so infrequently in the past 2 months that I wonder sometimes why I pay rent here. Don't worry about my title, "The Grumpus." I will explain it all a bit later, when it isn't 2:30 in the morning, and when I am feeling less grumpy about things. Tomorrow evening, perhaps. That sounds like a great idea. I will talk to you tomorrow, World.
-Richard
QOTD:
"Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it." - Jonathan Safran Foer.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wow. Hello again!
I definitely just sort of forgot that this blog existed a little while ago, so I haven't been updating. BUT, I forgot because I've been so remarkably busy/productive that I haven't really had time to do much writing anyway, which I wholly intend to change, promptly.
Anyway, I suppose I should fill you in, dearest Reader, on things in the recent past. I finally quit Kinko's in January, and don't feel the slightest bit of regret or remorse about that..I now have a job at the Center on Disability and Human Development, doing research in Childcare in Idaho. Improv is going really, really, REALLY well, as I am constantly learning new ways to build a scene, and new techniques and strategies for making them stronger. Hopefully, the average quality of our shows will improve as we all learn and practice.
Krav Maga, the self-defense course I am in, is pretty consistently whooping my ass every Monday and Wednesday, and has inspired me to go to the Rec more often, which is a work in progress, as I find the right times in my schedule to incorporate those visits. So far, Thursday nights and the weekend are good, and I'm going to see about Tuesday evening this week, which will make for a 6-day workout-week, which is very respectable. Also, between Ballroom Dance and Krav, I've developed a fair bit already with regards to agility and footwork, as well as increased respiratory/cardiovascular strength from all of the constant huffing and puffing in the latter, and all of the constant emphasis on posture in the former.
Classes are going very well, and I have been able to manage all of them with a minimum of stress or strain, for now...we'll see what things are like in a couple of weeks, when midterms hit, but Core Science has been completely easy, Latin is manageable, if tricky, and Classic Civilizations is the easiest course I've ever been in. British Lit is scary, as I feel like I understand the material, but the entire class is made up of two tests and one paper, and while I have no worries about the paper, the tests might end up screwing me. Bible class has been interesting, if somewhat dry and long, and I am learning a great deal about ancient Hebrew culture in it, which is rather fascinating. The real diamond in the rough of the semester, however, has been my Story Chronicles class. We have been studying the art of storytelling and the craft of writing short stories, and the whole class is so far up my alley that I legitimately felt remorse for missing a class on Thursday. Which, incidentally, is an incredible feeling. I have come to the conclusion, after all of these years, that storytelling, and the art of the story in general, need to play major roles in whatever career I pursue. I have never been more passionate about anything that I am right now about the ineffable power of the story to establish connection between human beings, and move listeners in a way that no other form of communication can really compare to. So I need to either pursue Graduate school, and do research in Narrative Theory, or tell stories for a living, in some way, shape or form. Improv is a possibility, as is stand-up, or something like The Moth, in New York. I guess we will just have to see.
Either way, there is more, I'm sure, but I'm done writing for now, until something else motivates me to put the metaphorical pen to paper again.
QOTD:
Anyway, I suppose I should fill you in, dearest Reader, on things in the recent past. I finally quit Kinko's in January, and don't feel the slightest bit of regret or remorse about that..I now have a job at the Center on Disability and Human Development, doing research in Childcare in Idaho. Improv is going really, really, REALLY well, as I am constantly learning new ways to build a scene, and new techniques and strategies for making them stronger. Hopefully, the average quality of our shows will improve as we all learn and practice.
Krav Maga, the self-defense course I am in, is pretty consistently whooping my ass every Monday and Wednesday, and has inspired me to go to the Rec more often, which is a work in progress, as I find the right times in my schedule to incorporate those visits. So far, Thursday nights and the weekend are good, and I'm going to see about Tuesday evening this week, which will make for a 6-day workout-week, which is very respectable. Also, between Ballroom Dance and Krav, I've developed a fair bit already with regards to agility and footwork, as well as increased respiratory/cardiovascular strength from all of the constant huffing and puffing in the latter, and all of the constant emphasis on posture in the former.
Classes are going very well, and I have been able to manage all of them with a minimum of stress or strain, for now...we'll see what things are like in a couple of weeks, when midterms hit, but Core Science has been completely easy, Latin is manageable, if tricky, and Classic Civilizations is the easiest course I've ever been in. British Lit is scary, as I feel like I understand the material, but the entire class is made up of two tests and one paper, and while I have no worries about the paper, the tests might end up screwing me. Bible class has been interesting, if somewhat dry and long, and I am learning a great deal about ancient Hebrew culture in it, which is rather fascinating. The real diamond in the rough of the semester, however, has been my Story Chronicles class. We have been studying the art of storytelling and the craft of writing short stories, and the whole class is so far up my alley that I legitimately felt remorse for missing a class on Thursday. Which, incidentally, is an incredible feeling. I have come to the conclusion, after all of these years, that storytelling, and the art of the story in general, need to play major roles in whatever career I pursue. I have never been more passionate about anything that I am right now about the ineffable power of the story to establish connection between human beings, and move listeners in a way that no other form of communication can really compare to. So I need to either pursue Graduate school, and do research in Narrative Theory, or tell stories for a living, in some way, shape or form. Improv is a possibility, as is stand-up, or something like The Moth, in New York. I guess we will just have to see.
Either way, there is more, I'm sure, but I'm done writing for now, until something else motivates me to put the metaphorical pen to paper again.
QOTD:
| “Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have. Being a good actor isn't easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I'm done."” | |
-James Dean |
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Weeks Like This One...
Make everything better. I mean, I got accepted at my internship (I was unemployed for about 16 hours), only skipped one class all week (which is a record of some kind for me, especially in 20 credits), got caught up on homework, had a very reasonable, solid show tonight, and got to hang out with some good friends, a number of whom I hadn't seen in quite some time. Had a couple of drinks with people, did a total of 9 hours of improv work, and got my entire life organized in a way that I think I can manage in the long-term. Life 2.0, you are every bit as awesome as you promised to be when I came back from Jersey and came across you. Now if only I could do something about this remarkably profound loneliness, I think things would be pretty much perfect.
-Richard
QOTD:
"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid." - Good Will Hunting
-Richard
QOTD:
"So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid." - Good Will Hunting
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Just something I've been pondering...
People yearn for honesty, and yet our culture has taught us to be so afraid when we encounter honesty in other people that we push them away. Folks live isolated, lonely lives because they've been taught to fear the idea of actually connecting with people, and when they bump into another lonely, isolated person, all anyone can do is put up a facade and pretend that they're not lonely or isolated.
How fucked up is that? How absurd is it that every day, you likely encounter a hundred people in your community who are just as starved for real, human connection as you are, and yet neither of you will do anything about it, ignorant of the craving that you both have, that you could satisfy for one another?
Pretty fucked up, let me tell you.
-Richard
PS - I am not writing this with regards to anything physical or sexual. Connecting with another human being has nothing to do with sex. That's all.
How fucked up is that? How absurd is it that every day, you likely encounter a hundred people in your community who are just as starved for real, human connection as you are, and yet neither of you will do anything about it, ignorant of the craving that you both have, that you could satisfy for one another?
Pretty fucked up, let me tell you.
-Richard
PS - I am not writing this with regards to anything physical or sexual. Connecting with another human being has nothing to do with sex. That's all.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
My thoughts on today, and things in general.
"I mean, for all of the awful things that happen out in the great, big world every day, there are a million tiny moments; people helping others, inspiring them to laughter, supporting them through tears, and comforting them in times of need. And that is the stuff that makes the world worth living in." - Me.
Monday, January 24, 2011
What a weekend.
That's all I have to say about that, honestly. What a weekend. Worked my last two shifts at FedEx, went to a great birthday dinner, asked an amazing girl out, got to see a good friend - if only briefly, got an e-mail about the internship that I really want, got caught up on all homework through Tuesday (with only reading left for Wednesday), had a decent improv practice, have two more practices in the coming week, and got to talk to a really good friend old friend of mine in California this morning (again, even if only briefly). It was busy, mostly with work, but I'm still incredibly excited to get some sleep, just so tomorrow gets here sooner. Which is a feeling I'd like to have more often. It's like Christmas Eve, circa age 5.
QOTD:
QOTD:
| “Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.” | |
 Angela Monet |
Thursday, January 20, 2011
1/20/11
So, while I got off on exactly the right foot during the first week of school, the second week has already become rockier than I would've liked. I had a pretty piss-poor Tuesday and Wednesday, academically speaking, as I didn't end up going to 2 classes, but I made up for it today, and have things all prepared to have an awesome day tomorrow.
The best part of the week, however, has to have been last night. I was told to go meet up with some friends, as one of them turned 24 yesterday, and wanted me to come out and get a drink. I was sort of tired, and didn't particularly feel like going out or putting pants on again, but I went anyway, and it ended up being incredible. All of the folks normally associated with this group of friends dance together, both locally and as a part of the University Ballroom dance team. Well, they decided to bring out a new girl last night, whom I had never met. She was rather...sullen for the early part of the evening, and one of my friends informed me that "[I] need to make "Ellen" laugh. Her friend just passed away of cancer, and she's having a rough night." Soooo the gloves came off, and I gave "Ellen" one of my better performances, as well as having a great time conversing and swapping stories with the birthday girl, some of my other friends, and at least one complete stranger. The night cost me $20, but I got my money's worth one-hundred times over knowing that "Ellen" walked away with her sides hurting from laughing so much, instead of spending her night crying. Lord knows, there's time to cry, but that time was not last night.
-Richard
QOTD:
“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”
-Chuck Palahniuk
The best part of the week, however, has to have been last night. I was told to go meet up with some friends, as one of them turned 24 yesterday, and wanted me to come out and get a drink. I was sort of tired, and didn't particularly feel like going out or putting pants on again, but I went anyway, and it ended up being incredible. All of the folks normally associated with this group of friends dance together, both locally and as a part of the University Ballroom dance team. Well, they decided to bring out a new girl last night, whom I had never met. She was rather...sullen for the early part of the evening, and one of my friends informed me that "[I] need to make "Ellen" laugh. Her friend just passed away of cancer, and she's having a rough night." Soooo the gloves came off, and I gave "Ellen" one of my better performances, as well as having a great time conversing and swapping stories with the birthday girl, some of my other friends, and at least one complete stranger. The night cost me $20, but I got my money's worth one-hundred times over knowing that "Ellen" walked away with her sides hurting from laughing so much, instead of spending her night crying. Lord knows, there's time to cry, but that time was not last night.
-Richard
QOTD:
“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”
-Chuck Palahniuk
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