So, the last bit of school began today, and while it was great to see the town filled with people again, I can't say I'm looking forward to the next 2 days or so. Have to go to 5 concerts for Music History, study for 2 different Latin exams, write a total of 9 pages, and read about 100. Going to be a rough week.
Today, however, featured one brilliant moment. I was heading up my driveway in my car, and I saw the fellow in front of me completely spin out, lose control, and do a 540 on the ice. His face was filled with complete terror and panic, and his knuckles were just as pale as the ground when he finally came to a halt, facing my car. So, what did I do? Certainly not anything even remotely adult or responsible. No, I put my car in park, got out, and began applauding and cheering. The men only a few feet away from me very quickly released all of that wound-up, adrenal terror they were feeling by looking up, seeing me, and laughing so hard that I could hear it through the closed windows of their Honda Civic. I got back into my car, backed up so that they could park, and pulled into a space, then got back out and yelled, "GUYS! THAT WAS AMAZING! 10 POINTS!" They were both still laughing, and cheering at the fact that they had survived unscathed.
And that, dear reader, in all of its humble, unassuming simplicity, was my good deed for the day. Turning a scary, world-shaking moment into an amusing one for two complete strangers in my apartment complex.
-Richard
QOTD:
"The purpose of life, is to fight maturity" - Dick Werthimer
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
11/28/2010
Alright, turns out I was only mostly right yesterday. Same heinous Portland bitch came in today, and I did my damnedest, and it really didn't accomplish anything. Apparently, there are just people out there intentionally shutting themselves away from people, and running around being bastards on purpose.
In other news, had a pretty amusing conversation with the roommate tonight about his upbringing in Utah, and how apparently, one is "Mormon until proven guilty" down there. He called it a miserable, awkwardly Stepford place to live. They also apparently don't sell beer or liquor anywhere convenient, and when they find out that you're not Mormon, they do their best to shun you, so that you don't contaminate their families with your vile, sinful lifestyle.
That kinda makes me sick, but it was a pretty entertaining conversation with him, which is something that doesn't happen too often, so I thought I'd share it. Mostly I spent today at work, so nothing really exciting happened. Tomorrow, though. Tomorrow, I go back to school, get out of that soul-sucking building, and I can start living again, rather than just going through the motions. Goodnight, folks.
QOTD (slight paraphrase, as I can't remember the exact wording):
"You have great instincts. Now get out of your own way, and allow yourself to be awesome."
-Quinn Hatch
In other news, had a pretty amusing conversation with the roommate tonight about his upbringing in Utah, and how apparently, one is "Mormon until proven guilty" down there. He called it a miserable, awkwardly Stepford place to live. They also apparently don't sell beer or liquor anywhere convenient, and when they find out that you're not Mormon, they do their best to shun you, so that you don't contaminate their families with your vile, sinful lifestyle.
That kinda makes me sick, but it was a pretty entertaining conversation with him, which is something that doesn't happen too often, so I thought I'd share it. Mostly I spent today at work, so nothing really exciting happened. Tomorrow, though. Tomorrow, I go back to school, get out of that soul-sucking building, and I can start living again, rather than just going through the motions. Goodnight, folks.
QOTD (slight paraphrase, as I can't remember the exact wording):
"You have great instincts. Now get out of your own way, and allow yourself to be awesome."
-Quinn Hatch
Sunday, November 28, 2010
11/27/2010
It's amazing to me how often people misunderstand what it means to provide customer service. It isn't about putting on a fake smile, enduring all of the hassle, and getting through the day. Customers can tell when you do things like that, and while they may not react unfavorably, they certainly will never leave your establishment feeling great about the service they received. In fact, great customer service isn't even about the customer at all. It's about the employee. I'm not talking about any bullshit preaching about 'attitude' or anything like that. I'm talking about how open an employee is, and how willing they are to truly connect with the customer on the other side of the counter. It is truly incredible how much you can get away with, not just by being helpful or polite, but by honestly establishing a connection with a customer, and allowing yourself to empathize with them.
Too often, my coworkers and I gripe about hearing a "life story" when a customer wants, for example, a single copy of a single piece of paper. These stories typically consist of a few minutes of rambling about the nature of the piece of paper in question, its history, the customer's current financial/medical/employment situation, or any number of other things.But what dawned on me today is, when a regular customer comes in to tell you a similar story, of similar length, we are typically more than happy to listen and provide an honest response. The only differences between the crazy old bitch rambling about her grandfather and the nice, fun, charming older lady telling you her exciting family history lie in the perception of the employee.
That being said, I had an incredibly good customer interaction today, as well as an incredibly bad one...and the only difference, honestly, was how much I gave a damn about the customer. The good one was early in the day. An older woman came in to have some things printed, and I've dealt with her on numerous occasions in the past, so I was having a fairly friendly conversation with her while I was sorting through her things, and when I asked about the specifics of her job, she began to have a sort of rambling, nervous, over-thinking panic attack. I didn't even think about the possible repercussions of my actions at this point, and instead took her gently by the wrists, set her hands down on the counter, looked her in the eye, and told her to take a deep breath, and stop worrying. She smiled, breathed in, and started laughing when she realized how worked up she had let herself get over something so trivial. I agreed, and after a moment or two for her to settle down I managed to get her job done quickly, while talking to her about her children (one is a UI law student, the other lives in New Hampshire and has a child), my school goals, my job, how long I'd been in Moscow, and all sorts of other things, which really just adds up to a very pleasant, legitimately friendly conversation between two people. It's moments like these that I remember why I still work in customer service.
Later in the afternoon, another, younger lady came in to have some things printed, and I was frustrated, as I was trying to take care of some other things, as well as preparing to close, and she began our conversation with, "So, I've got a project to print, and there are quite a few files on here for you to deal with." I was less than thrilled with her demanding tone, her judgmental looks at me, and her snide, half-sneering face as I took her drive, grabbed all of her files, and began to convert them from Word documents to PDF files, so I could combine them all and print them at once, instead of having to open and print 27 different files. After I printed them, I discovered that I didn't have her font, and so her files all looked weird. I explained that to her, and she glared at me, asking "well, what does that mean?" I asked her if she could convert the files to PDF on her computer, so that I wouldn't need the font, and so that they would print correctly, and rather than being helpful or cooperative with me, she got a shocked, almost-offended look and said, "So...am I getting a discount for wasting so much of my time?" I reluctantly agreed to give her a discount, and she went on to explain that "You know...in the Portland store, I just give them my files and they take care of everything for me. So I don't think I should have to waste all my time converting these..." I explained that obviously Portland has her font, and I don't, and so she asked if I was working tomorrow, which I confirmed, and then asked if I was the manager, obviously implying that she was going to be speaking with him about my interaction with her, before storming out of the store, stating "You know...I'll just deal with this later. I don't have time for this. It never took this long in Portland."
Yeah, I can look at that and say, 'You know, she was a bitch, it happens.' But that's not good enough. The truth of the matter is, I honestly cared about the first woman, and not about the second, and furthermore, I tried to be as genuine as possible to the first woman so that she would care about me as well, which I did not do with the second, and that made all the difference in my body language, tone and expression, all of which contributed to a shitty experience for the later customer.
QOTD:
"I am a storyteller. The type that went from place to place, gathered people in the square and transported them, inspired them, woke them up, shook their insides around so that they could resettle in a new pattern, a new way of being. It is a tradition that believes that the story speaks to the soul, not the ego... to the heart, not the head. In today’s world, we yearn so to ’understand’, to conquer with our mind, but it is not in the mind that a mythic story dwells." —Donna Jacobs Sife
Too often, my coworkers and I gripe about hearing a "life story" when a customer wants, for example, a single copy of a single piece of paper. These stories typically consist of a few minutes of rambling about the nature of the piece of paper in question, its history, the customer's current financial/medical/employment situation, or any number of other things.But what dawned on me today is, when a regular customer comes in to tell you a similar story, of similar length, we are typically more than happy to listen and provide an honest response. The only differences between the crazy old bitch rambling about her grandfather and the nice, fun, charming older lady telling you her exciting family history lie in the perception of the employee.
That being said, I had an incredibly good customer interaction today, as well as an incredibly bad one...and the only difference, honestly, was how much I gave a damn about the customer. The good one was early in the day. An older woman came in to have some things printed, and I've dealt with her on numerous occasions in the past, so I was having a fairly friendly conversation with her while I was sorting through her things, and when I asked about the specifics of her job, she began to have a sort of rambling, nervous, over-thinking panic attack. I didn't even think about the possible repercussions of my actions at this point, and instead took her gently by the wrists, set her hands down on the counter, looked her in the eye, and told her to take a deep breath, and stop worrying. She smiled, breathed in, and started laughing when she realized how worked up she had let herself get over something so trivial. I agreed, and after a moment or two for her to settle down I managed to get her job done quickly, while talking to her about her children (one is a UI law student, the other lives in New Hampshire and has a child), my school goals, my job, how long I'd been in Moscow, and all sorts of other things, which really just adds up to a very pleasant, legitimately friendly conversation between two people. It's moments like these that I remember why I still work in customer service.
Later in the afternoon, another, younger lady came in to have some things printed, and I was frustrated, as I was trying to take care of some other things, as well as preparing to close, and she began our conversation with, "So, I've got a project to print, and there are quite a few files on here for you to deal with." I was less than thrilled with her demanding tone, her judgmental looks at me, and her snide, half-sneering face as I took her drive, grabbed all of her files, and began to convert them from Word documents to PDF files, so I could combine them all and print them at once, instead of having to open and print 27 different files. After I printed them, I discovered that I didn't have her font, and so her files all looked weird. I explained that to her, and she glared at me, asking "well, what does that mean?" I asked her if she could convert the files to PDF on her computer, so that I wouldn't need the font, and so that they would print correctly, and rather than being helpful or cooperative with me, she got a shocked, almost-offended look and said, "So...am I getting a discount for wasting so much of my time?" I reluctantly agreed to give her a discount, and she went on to explain that "You know...in the Portland store, I just give them my files and they take care of everything for me. So I don't think I should have to waste all my time converting these..." I explained that obviously Portland has her font, and I don't, and so she asked if I was working tomorrow, which I confirmed, and then asked if I was the manager, obviously implying that she was going to be speaking with him about my interaction with her, before storming out of the store, stating "You know...I'll just deal with this later. I don't have time for this. It never took this long in Portland."
Yeah, I can look at that and say, 'You know, she was a bitch, it happens.' But that's not good enough. The truth of the matter is, I honestly cared about the first woman, and not about the second, and furthermore, I tried to be as genuine as possible to the first woman so that she would care about me as well, which I did not do with the second, and that made all the difference in my body language, tone and expression, all of which contributed to a shitty experience for the later customer.
QOTD:
"I am a storyteller. The type that went from place to place, gathered people in the square and transported them, inspired them, woke them up, shook their insides around so that they could resettle in a new pattern, a new way of being. It is a tradition that believes that the story speaks to the soul, not the ego... to the heart, not the head. In today’s world, we yearn so to ’understand’, to conquer with our mind, but it is not in the mind that a mythic story dwells." —Donna Jacobs Sife
Saturday, November 27, 2010
11/26/2010
It dawned on me, upon reviewing my writing from yesterday, that I have apparently sort of lost sight of the focus of this blog. Rather than focusing on the small, brilliant moments, I've been writing on general impressions and mundane events. Time to fix that.
Thanksgiving, Part II - The bits I left out.
After dinner at Derek's, we all sat down to watch Home Alone 2, which I haven't seen in probably a decade or more. Turns out that movie is much more profound than I think anybody ever gave it credit for. I mean, Macaulay Culkin was certainly no Aristotle or anything, but he had a conversation with the creepy old pigeon lady that actually stopped all of us in our tracks as we were watching and chatting, so that we could appreciate what he was saying.
Also, Wal-mart did feature some pretty excellent conversations, mostly involving Brianne shouting "Hey girl heeeyyy!" at random strangers. They were so confused, I couldn't help but laugh.
Anyway, for today:
Woke up this morning to a breakfast involving homemade waffles at Brianne's place, watched Dustin argue with their broken water heater until it finally gave in and started working again, and then pretty much went straight into work. A regular customer came in and informed me of a memorial service being held on Sunday night for a well-known local man, and told me that the dress code for said memorial service involved at least one piece of tie-dye clothing or ski equipment (Apparently the fellow very much enjoyed both of those things), or something similarly celebratory/amusing/outlandish. I was delighted to hear this - coupled of course with sorrow in learning that he had passed away - as this is EXACTLY the sort of thing that needs to happen more often, and I was not exactly subtle in my excitement about the whole thing, which made my customer laugh like I haven't seen her laugh in a long time. It was glorious. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand and respect that the passing of a loved one is a sad thing, but I'm a huge advocate of the philosophy that a memorial service is for celebrating the life of the person, rather than emphasizing the loss. This fellow, the one who passed away, was very clearly of the same mindset, and his memorial celebration will certainly be one of the more lively events of the year, to locals at least. I wish I had known him.
So between my excellent morning in Pullman, and a fantastic, though brief, conversation with one of my favorite customers, it was a pretty good day. More adventures in absurdity, etc. when students get back and I'm not selling my soul to my job every day...
QOTD:
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." - The Doctor
Thanksgiving, Part II - The bits I left out.
After dinner at Derek's, we all sat down to watch Home Alone 2, which I haven't seen in probably a decade or more. Turns out that movie is much more profound than I think anybody ever gave it credit for. I mean, Macaulay Culkin was certainly no Aristotle or anything, but he had a conversation with the creepy old pigeon lady that actually stopped all of us in our tracks as we were watching and chatting, so that we could appreciate what he was saying.
Also, Wal-mart did feature some pretty excellent conversations, mostly involving Brianne shouting "Hey girl heeeyyy!" at random strangers. They were so confused, I couldn't help but laugh.
Anyway, for today:
Woke up this morning to a breakfast involving homemade waffles at Brianne's place, watched Dustin argue with their broken water heater until it finally gave in and started working again, and then pretty much went straight into work. A regular customer came in and informed me of a memorial service being held on Sunday night for a well-known local man, and told me that the dress code for said memorial service involved at least one piece of tie-dye clothing or ski equipment (Apparently the fellow very much enjoyed both of those things), or something similarly celebratory/amusing/outlandish. I was delighted to hear this - coupled of course with sorrow in learning that he had passed away - as this is EXACTLY the sort of thing that needs to happen more often, and I was not exactly subtle in my excitement about the whole thing, which made my customer laugh like I haven't seen her laugh in a long time. It was glorious. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand and respect that the passing of a loved one is a sad thing, but I'm a huge advocate of the philosophy that a memorial service is for celebrating the life of the person, rather than emphasizing the loss. This fellow, the one who passed away, was very clearly of the same mindset, and his memorial celebration will certainly be one of the more lively events of the year, to locals at least. I wish I had known him.
So between my excellent morning in Pullman, and a fantastic, though brief, conversation with one of my favorite customers, it was a pretty good day. More adventures in absurdity, etc. when students get back and I'm not selling my soul to my job every day...
QOTD:
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." - The Doctor
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanks-You-For-Giving, 2010
Let me explain and just say that "Thanks-you-for-giving" is my father's way to say Thanksgiving. It's been a family joke for years.
Now, about Thanksgiving. What an....odd holiday. Spent the morning at home, pretty much determined to have a boring, lonely, depressed day. When a friend of mine texted me in the afternoon to invite me over for dinner, a part of me honestly wanted to say 'No, thanks' just so that I wasn't being intrusive on anyone else's family holiday, etc.
First and foremost, I am thankful that today, I resisted the urge to be self-defeating and depressed, because tonight has been pretty stupendous. Went over to see Derek and Jessi at about 4:30, and met Jessi's mother and nephew. Jessi's mother made it a point to observe their family tradition of skipping a traditional "Grace" prayer on Thanksgiving night in favor of each person sitting at the dinner table sharing the things that they were grateful for in the past year. Gained some insight into Derek, Jessi, and her family, and had the best meal I've had in a LONG time. Left there and instead of going home, I decided to venture to Pullman to see one of my best friends, Brianne, and her fiance Dustin. When we discovered that Wal-Mart was doing a huge Black Friday sale at midnight, we realized that we had no choice but to go investigate. Best. Decision. Ever.
Brianne was drunk, the place was PACKED with scary, bitter people waiting to snatch up the latest and greatest in Rolled Back prices, and we ended up purchasing all sorts of nifty things, from a $3 hand mixer to a $10 set of tupperware, to pillows. I've never been glared at more in my entire life. It was kind of awesome. Also, once we were in line, we looked back to find an older woman a couple of carts behind is, muttering obscenities and glaring at nearby passersby. Even more awesome. Brianne almost approached her, to ask if she was armed, so we could get out of the line of fire. Afterwards, though, it dawned on me, as we were trudging through the snow back to the car, that we were all 20-something individuals who are ABSOLUTELY GLEEFUL about buying fucking tupperware. When did that happen? That is unacceptable. Black Friday really does bring out the worst in people, I think. Everyone I met at Wal-mart was angry, sullen, or impatient to catch their 'big deal', and it bothered me. A lot. The highlight of the evening was Dustin yelling 'Anarchy! Anarchy!' about 3 minutes before all of the deals began. Even the employees appreciated that. However, aside from that moment, Black Friday has left me less than thrilled with humanity. This is an unfortunate place to be, and one that needs to be rectified as soon as possible.
QOTD
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
Now, about Thanksgiving. What an....odd holiday. Spent the morning at home, pretty much determined to have a boring, lonely, depressed day. When a friend of mine texted me in the afternoon to invite me over for dinner, a part of me honestly wanted to say 'No, thanks' just so that I wasn't being intrusive on anyone else's family holiday, etc.
First and foremost, I am thankful that today, I resisted the urge to be self-defeating and depressed, because tonight has been pretty stupendous. Went over to see Derek and Jessi at about 4:30, and met Jessi's mother and nephew. Jessi's mother made it a point to observe their family tradition of skipping a traditional "Grace" prayer on Thanksgiving night in favor of each person sitting at the dinner table sharing the things that they were grateful for in the past year. Gained some insight into Derek, Jessi, and her family, and had the best meal I've had in a LONG time. Left there and instead of going home, I decided to venture to Pullman to see one of my best friends, Brianne, and her fiance Dustin. When we discovered that Wal-Mart was doing a huge Black Friday sale at midnight, we realized that we had no choice but to go investigate. Best. Decision. Ever.
Brianne was drunk, the place was PACKED with scary, bitter people waiting to snatch up the latest and greatest in Rolled Back prices, and we ended up purchasing all sorts of nifty things, from a $3 hand mixer to a $10 set of tupperware, to pillows. I've never been glared at more in my entire life. It was kind of awesome. Also, once we were in line, we looked back to find an older woman a couple of carts behind is, muttering obscenities and glaring at nearby passersby. Even more awesome. Brianne almost approached her, to ask if she was armed, so we could get out of the line of fire. Afterwards, though, it dawned on me, as we were trudging through the snow back to the car, that we were all 20-something individuals who are ABSOLUTELY GLEEFUL about buying fucking tupperware. When did that happen? That is unacceptable. Black Friday really does bring out the worst in people, I think. Everyone I met at Wal-mart was angry, sullen, or impatient to catch their 'big deal', and it bothered me. A lot. The highlight of the evening was Dustin yelling 'Anarchy! Anarchy!' about 3 minutes before all of the deals began. Even the employees appreciated that. However, aside from that moment, Black Friday has left me less than thrilled with humanity. This is an unfortunate place to be, and one that needs to be rectified as soon as possible.
QOTD
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving Eve
So, as I'm writing this, at 3:50am, I am chatting with my mother on Facebook. It's nearly 7am for her, and if the 3 hour difference isn't bad enough, I've not yet gone to bed, and she is getting up for the day. This is proof that time travel is, in fact, real. There's no other effing explanation. She lives in my 'tomorrow'. I'm in her 'yesterday'. Just something to think about.
Also, first of all, I'd like to point out that this town is remarkably boring without any students in it.
Second, the roads are effing heinous without snow tires, chains, or a reasonable level of traction on one's tires.
Had an interview for a new job as a server today, and I don't find out any more information about the job until next week. Gross.
Not much in the way of great stories today, as I mostly just left my apartment to go to my interview, then visited some friends of mine, who own a local restaurant. While there, I met a 6' tall African-American man named Cedric, his less African-American, more intelligent wife, and a man named Josh with the most impressively shaggy mountain-man beard I have ever seen in my life. Also learned that apparently there is a booming underground market for people who want smoked turkey for Thanksgiving. Who knew?
Spent about 2 hours there, chatting with the owners of the restaurant, listening to them play video games at work (it was that slow today), and getting a pile of leftover food that they were going to have to throw out.
All in all, a decent, if somewhat uneventful day. Mostly contemplative, and full of chores around the house and quiet time, hiding from the snow/ice/cold/gross.
PS - After walking around in the snow, I HIGHLY recommend a mug of "European Hot Chocolate". It's made with dark chocolate so it's all bitter.
QOTD:
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity." - Gilda Radner
Also, first of all, I'd like to point out that this town is remarkably boring without any students in it.
Second, the roads are effing heinous without snow tires, chains, or a reasonable level of traction on one's tires.
Had an interview for a new job as a server today, and I don't find out any more information about the job until next week. Gross.
Not much in the way of great stories today, as I mostly just left my apartment to go to my interview, then visited some friends of mine, who own a local restaurant. While there, I met a 6' tall African-American man named Cedric, his less African-American, more intelligent wife, and a man named Josh with the most impressively shaggy mountain-man beard I have ever seen in my life. Also learned that apparently there is a booming underground market for people who want smoked turkey for Thanksgiving. Who knew?
Spent about 2 hours there, chatting with the owners of the restaurant, listening to them play video games at work (it was that slow today), and getting a pile of leftover food that they were going to have to throw out.
All in all, a decent, if somewhat uneventful day. Mostly contemplative, and full of chores around the house and quiet time, hiding from the snow/ice/cold/gross.
PS - After walking around in the snow, I HIGHLY recommend a mug of "European Hot Chocolate". It's made with dark chocolate so it's all bitter.
QOTD:
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity." - Gilda Radner
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
11/23/2010
Had a very short, but amusing moment today at Safeway after work. I was in line, getting ready to pay for my belongings behind an elderly couple. This couple was purchasing cat litter, and as the tiny, adorable young lady behind the register lifted the enormous, man-killing sack of said litter, the older gentleman purchasing it remarked, "Wow...ya know, you don't even need to lift weights workin' here! I mean, what is there, gravel in those bags?!" followed by chuckling for an inordinately long time to himself, during which time his wife paid for his groceries, and the lady at the register and I exchanged an amused glance. All of this is pretty typical of any older customer with an awful sense of humor, but after the couple left, the lady behind the register paused for a moment, waiting for them to get out of earshot before turning to me. I laughed, and said to her, "You know...pretty sure cat litter actually is gravel, but, you know...whatever melts his popsicle, right?"
Her response? "Yeahhh....well...his popsicle has been frozen solid since he married her...and excuse my language, but I don't know what the hell is up with old men and making bad jokes at me....Ugh."
I love those simple moments of honesty from strangers, you know? Especially ones who work in customer service. I have no idea how or why people feel like they can be honest with me, but it really does make my day, every time.
Also, instituting a Quote of the Day. Starting now. Just, whatever happens to move me, or inspire me in the moment of my writing this. Today's was inspired by the Thanksgiving holiday, and I feel that it perfectly encapsulates my sentiments on the holidays in general. Enjoy your long weekends and time with family, readers.
-Richard
QOTD:
"Well there'll be smilin', there'll be laughin'
Well that's good enough for me
There'll be dancing all around you
This is where you want to be
So pile your boots up in the corner
Hang your jacket from the door
There's thirty people in the kitchen
And there's always room, yes there's always room"
Her response? "Yeahhh....well...his popsicle has been frozen solid since he married her...and excuse my language, but I don't know what the hell is up with old men and making bad jokes at me....Ugh."
I love those simple moments of honesty from strangers, you know? Especially ones who work in customer service. I have no idea how or why people feel like they can be honest with me, but it really does make my day, every time.
Also, instituting a Quote of the Day. Starting now. Just, whatever happens to move me, or inspire me in the moment of my writing this. Today's was inspired by the Thanksgiving holiday, and I feel that it perfectly encapsulates my sentiments on the holidays in general. Enjoy your long weekends and time with family, readers.
-Richard
QOTD:
"Well there'll be smilin', there'll be laughin'
Well that's good enough for me
There'll be dancing all around you
This is where you want to be
So pile your boots up in the corner
Hang your jacket from the door
There's thirty people in the kitchen
And there's always room, yes there's always room"
Great Big Sea - Goin' Up
11/22/2010
I hate to say it, but between working for most of the day, and trudging through snow and not having many customers AT work today, there really wasn't anything super-exciting to report. Which sucks. Though I'm glad I remembered to at least hop on here and say so. Sorry, readers. Better luck tomorrow.
Monday, November 22, 2010
11/21/2010
Former roommate/coworker, and current good friend Andrea came into town today from Seattle, and good times were had. Went to Mingles at about 10pm to meet up with her and other coworker/good friend Ridley...the following are several snippets of GOLD from our time spent there:
- Random bar patron throwing a condom filled with sour cream at the bartender.
- The bartender showing us said condom.
- Me asking if that was, in fact, a condom.
- Him replying that it was not, and was actually a pastry-decorating bag thingy, and that the tip just hadn't been cut off yet.
- Numerous "She Say Dat" (That's what she said) jokes - primarily stemming from conversations about work, customers, alcohol, Andrea shaking her phone to get her ridiculous Mixology app to work (PS - highly recommended app for the serious alcoholic), and drink names, notable the Singapore Sling, Dirty Banana, and Frigid Hairy Virgin - which is delicious.
- Eavesdropping to hear another bar patron talking to his friends about his "Super safe, but expensive" mystery car, that was capable of speeds of 150 km/h (he used that specific measurement in America, mind you...where Kilometers are mostly made-up numbers because we have no fucking idea how the metric system works), but cost so much to maintain that it "literally" (read: figuratively) drove him bankrupt, since parts were so expensive, and even the BUMPERS didn't work! (As far as how a car bumper can malfunction, your guess is as good as mine...)
- Same incredibly drunk bar patron signing his credit card receipt "Saudi Arabia" for some reason, and then TELLING the bartender that he did it, "you know...like for entertainment and fun and stuff".
- Watching said bar patron check out a set of pool balls with 15 minutes before the bar closed, and then spend 10 of those minutes looking for the triangle to rack the balls, after painstakingly arranging them by hand in a neat, somewhat tight formation, only to have our bartender point out where it was after they'd set them all up manually, with 6 minutes until the bar closed.
- Introducing Ridley to the game of "racing your drunk", which is to say, having a drink, getting in your car, and heading to your destination faster than the alcohol processes properly in your system. (Not a recommended maneuver, by the way. I've never actually done it, but it sounds kinda shady.)
- Sloe Gin is disgusting. I now know this to be true.
- Apparently I have a "Stand-Up Mode"
- I'm a fan of "Stand-Up Mode"
- Ridley is not somuch a fan of "Stand-Up Mode"
- I've VERY recently discovered that I fucking love making lists.
So. There you are. Decent enough evening. Bartender seemed to enjoy our patronage, as he was very pleasant, and spending some time with Andrea was equally pleasant. Goodnight, folks.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
11/20/2010
So, I had just finished work at about 6:10 this evening, and had a ticket to go see Harry Potter tonight. I was somewhat peckish from having not eaten all day at work, and I'm always far too cheap for movie theatre popcorn, etc. So I decided to hit the Dollar Store prior to the movie in order to just grab a box of candy to chew on during the film. As I approached the door, I was met by a young, terrifyingly thin blonde girl, with a Safeway bag. She looked at me, and said 'Welcome to Dollar Tree. I'm standing here...you know...to greet people!' followed by a bout of fairly crazy-person laughter. I walked into the store, and she followed me. I watched her for a moment, completely silently, and noticed that two of the employees there were doing the exact same thing, waiting for her to leave. Upon her exit from the store, I looked at the two employees, who were exchanging knowing glances, as apparently she had been harassing customers and employees alike for upwards of 15 minutes, and said to them, "I had no idea that the Dollar Store sold meth now!"
According to one of them, they do in fact sell it out of the back of the store, which is where this woman must have procured her VERY recent dosage. After a couple of minutes of joking back and forth about "Susie Strung-Out", my starbursts were given to me for free.
Not one of my finer stories, and it really does work best if you'd been there, but having spent most of today at work, and having only created this blog at about 2 in the afternoon, it was the best I could think up. Still, a fairly amusing moment in my day. Tomorrow will be better.
According to one of them, they do in fact sell it out of the back of the store, which is where this woman must have procured her VERY recent dosage. After a couple of minutes of joking back and forth about "Susie Strung-Out", my starbursts were given to me for free.
Not one of my finer stories, and it really does work best if you'd been there, but having spent most of today at work, and having only created this blog at about 2 in the afternoon, it was the best I could think up. Still, a fairly amusing moment in my day. Tomorrow will be better.
Growing Down?
You know, I think growing up is entirely over-rated. Near as I can tell, being "grown up" is just a way to rationalize having a mediocre job, a decent salary, and a routine.
Fuck That.
I say, break routine, forget about the money, and do what you love. It's worth the risk of failure, to have a chance at greatness, which is what this blog is all about. My passion is making people happy. I'm not talking about changing lives, or affecting any sort of massive scale. Instead, my humble aim is to cause as many laughs in as many people as possible, with a goal of three every day, whether they're close friends or complete strangers. To that end, I hope to write down at least one of those stories every day, no matter how seemingly mundane or simple the moment may have been, both in an effort to preserve them for myself, and perhaps bring one or two more smiles to the faces of my readers. I will be actively fighting overly-serious individuals, in favor of absurdity and....whatever the opposite of "growing up" is. So, here we go, I suppose. Today's story will come later, presumably after it's happened.
PS - I have been slowly gaining momentum in my own life, moving, if not towards good habits, at least away from the bad ones. It's been a slow process, and one that will continue to take every ounce of willpower I have. Which is why I am asking you, dearest Reader, to aid me. Provide feedback to my writing, let me know what you honestly think about my thoughts, and perhaps most importantly, if I happen to fall out of the habit of writing daily, harass me about it. Don't let me get away with that. I know that your attention is a lot to ask, but it should only be for the first little while. After I've developed the habit of writing daily, it will come naturally to me. Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for your aid in getting things on track.
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