11/21/2010

Former roommate/coworker, and current good friend Andrea came into town today from Seattle, and good times were had. Went to Mingles at about 10pm to meet up with her and other coworker/good friend Ridley...the following are several snippets of GOLD from our time spent there:

• Random bar patron throwing a condom filled with sour cream at the bartender.
• The bartender showing us said condom.
• Me asking if that was, in fact, a condom.
• Him replying that it was not, and was actually a pastry-decorating bag thingy, and that the tip just hadn't been cut off yet.
• Numerous "She Say Dat" (That's what she said) jokes - primarily stemming from conversations about work, customers, alcohol, Andrea shaking her phone to get her ridiculous Mixology app to work (PS - highly recommended app for the serious alcoholic), and drink names, notable the Singapore Sling, Dirty Banana, and Frigid Hairy Virgin - which is delicious.
• Eavesdropping to hear another bar patron talking to his friends about his "Super safe, but expensive" mystery car, that was capable of speeds of 150 km/h (he used that specific measurement in America, mind you...where Kilometers are mostly made-up numbers because we have no fucking idea how the metric system works), but cost so much to maintain that it "literally" (read: figuratively) drove him bankrupt, since parts were so expensive, and even the BUMPERS didn't work! (As far as how a car bumper can malfunction, your guess is as good as mine...)
• Same incredibly drunk bar patron signing his credit card receipt "Saudi Arabia" for some reason, and then TELLING the bartender that he did it, "you know...like for entertainment and fun and stuff".
• Watching said bar patron check out a set of pool balls with 15 minutes before the bar closed, and then spend 10 of those minutes looking for the triangle to rack the balls, after painstakingly arranging them by hand in a neat, somewhat tight formation, only to have our bartender point out where it was after they'd set them all up manually, with 6 minutes until the bar closed.
• Introducing Ridley to the game of "racing your drunk", which is to say, having a drink, getting in your car, and heading to your destination faster than the alcohol processes properly in your system. (Not a recommended maneuver, by the way. I've never actually done it, but it sounds kinda shady.)
• Sloe Gin is disgusting. I now know this to be true.
• Apparently I have a "Stand-Up Mode"
• I'm a fan of "Stand-Up Mode"
• Ridley is not somuch a fan of "Stand-Up Mode"
• I've VERY recently discovered that I fucking love making lists.

So. There you are. Decent enough evening. Bartender seemed to enjoy our patronage, as he was very pleasant, and spending some time with Andrea was equally pleasant. Goodnight, folks.