I feel behind already. The Plan is holding up well enough, and I'll continue reading, following, and revising it daily, especially as the semester goes on. But school...that's where I feel behind already. The shooting on Monday, combined with a number of other factors, have made focusing especially difficult this week. I'm looking forward to next week, just so that I have time to recover and re-center myself. I hate that I'm already treading water. I need to stay ahead of the game.
QOTD:
“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go."
"Share your M&Ms. There are bags and bags of them all over the place. If you give them one of yours, even one of the green ones, you will not be lacking. Now apply this to Time, Concern, Touch, Interest and Being Vulnerable."
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Plan
Once more, it is time to review and re-evaluate The Plan. This is the big, capital-P "Plan" that I keep on my computer at all times, which contains my rough budget, short-term goals, long-term goals, and a sort of "to-do list" of things that I need to work on, beyond just the mundane tasks. The Plan is hideously dated at this point, and so I am revising it, and writing it here, as I promised I would.
So here we go.
Budget: Under Construction (after financial aid, a big paycheck, and paying off all of my bills, I'll have some more concrete numbers to work with.)
Short-term goals (6 months or so):
3.5 GPA
Grad school research
Grad school applications
Letters from professors: Drake, Sigler, Hesford, Williams, Thacker, Lauriola
Comm or English dept.? Narrative Theory is either.
White Tie - paid gigs, publicity, long-form, website, twitter/facebook
Mentoring - meet my Mentee.
Get a passport
Medium-term goals (1-3 years):
Lose 165 lbs. (this number was 190 when I last updated in March...so that's good!)
Graduate
Move away from Moscow - Boston, Chicago, Seattle, England, Hungary are top choices at the moment
Find a real, 'grown-up' job in literary academia, communication studies, or improvisational comedy
Save up $2,500 on top of paying student loans, regular savings, etc. for my travel fund
Dance for a night without feeling awkward/uncomfortable
Long-term goals (3-10 years):
Travel to all 6 inhabited continents
Give a TEDTalk
Teach a class at a university
Perform in a large theater for an audience of 500 or more
Finish my Master's Degree, possibly start on a PhD.
Things I will do to help me accomplish these things:
Turn in all assignments
Attend all classes I am able to attend (no skipping!)
Check Princeton Review, University websites/department pages, and talk to advisors about grad school
Apply to 3-5 schools with 1 week left before the deadline
Call all professors I wish to study with
E-mail professors for letters, stop into offices.
Keep a calendar of all White Tie goings-on with my academic calendar and my events calendar, so as to stay aware of all of my obligations in one place.
Meet with M. monthly to discuss changes in White Tie's direction.
Apply for a passport
Drink 1 gallon of water daily, and no soda
No deep-fried foods. None. Ever. Lots of steamed vegetables and fresh fruits.
Revive Iron Man In A Month (IMIAM) plan, start again at 30 days on 9/1, finish the school year at 21 days in 5/2012
Keep a journal of all exercise and consumption. Examine weekly.
Pack lunches and eat breakfast at home daily
Speak with contacts in Boston, Chicago, Seattle, and Hungary about living costs, employment, etc.
33% of paychecks into savings
Take a dance class, attend Swing Devils 1/month minimum
That, dear friends and readers, is my Bible for the next 3-6 months, until it needs to be revised and re-evaluated again. This will all go in my bathroom in some form or another, and I will do my damnedest to adhere to all of the promises I've made here to myself.
QOTD:
"A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor."
Aldous Huxley
"A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive."
Pearl Bailey
So here we go.
Budget: Under Construction (after financial aid, a big paycheck, and paying off all of my bills, I'll have some more concrete numbers to work with.)
Short-term goals (6 months or so):
3.5 GPA
Grad school research
Grad school applications
Letters from professors: Drake, Sigler, Hesford, Williams, Thacker, Lauriola
Comm or English dept.? Narrative Theory is either.
White Tie - paid gigs, publicity, long-form, website, twitter/facebook
Mentoring - meet my Mentee.
Get a passport
Medium-term goals (1-3 years):
Lose 165 lbs. (this number was 190 when I last updated in March...so that's good!)
Graduate
Move away from Moscow - Boston, Chicago, Seattle, England, Hungary are top choices at the moment
Find a real, 'grown-up' job in literary academia, communication studies, or improvisational comedy
Save up $2,500 on top of paying student loans, regular savings, etc. for my travel fund
Dance for a night without feeling awkward/uncomfortable
Long-term goals (3-10 years):
Travel to all 6 inhabited continents
Give a TEDTalk
Teach a class at a university
Perform in a large theater for an audience of 500 or more
Finish my Master's Degree, possibly start on a PhD.
Things I will do to help me accomplish these things:
Turn in all assignments
Attend all classes I am able to attend (no skipping!)
Check Princeton Review, University websites/department pages, and talk to advisors about grad school
Apply to 3-5 schools with 1 week left before the deadline
Call all professors I wish to study with
E-mail professors for letters, stop into offices.
Keep a calendar of all White Tie goings-on with my academic calendar and my events calendar, so as to stay aware of all of my obligations in one place.
Meet with M. monthly to discuss changes in White Tie's direction.
Apply for a passport
Drink 1 gallon of water daily, and no soda
No deep-fried foods. None. Ever. Lots of steamed vegetables and fresh fruits.
Revive Iron Man In A Month (IMIAM) plan, start again at 30 days on 9/1, finish the school year at 21 days in 5/2012
Keep a journal of all exercise and consumption. Examine weekly.
Pack lunches and eat breakfast at home daily
Speak with contacts in Boston, Chicago, Seattle, and Hungary about living costs, employment, etc.
33% of paychecks into savings
Take a dance class, attend Swing Devils 1/month minimum
That, dear friends and readers, is my Bible for the next 3-6 months, until it needs to be revised and re-evaluated again. This will all go in my bathroom in some form or another, and I will do my damnedest to adhere to all of the promises I've made here to myself.
QOTD:
"A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor."
Aldous Huxley
"A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive."
Pearl Bailey
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Whelmingly Gruntled
These past few weeks have been great. Honestly, I mean that. I haven't been too terribly busy, and I haven't been too stressed, and I'm rather excited for school to start. That being said, there are some things I've not kept up on, which I need to pick back up. Once again, I'm relearning just how much I am a creature of habit, and just how hard it is for me to change my (sometimes erroneous) ways. So, I'm writing up a plan. This plan, unlike past plans, will be public. I will write it on my bathroom mirror in dry erase marker, so that all of my guests can see it, and later, when I'm done identifying all of the areas I am looking to work on, I will post it here. I'm done discreetly attempting to make life changes, because it's becoming more and more apparent to me that I have an incredible group of friends, in whom I can place a fair amount of trust. I need to trust them not to judge me harshly, and not to let me slip up in my goals. It used to be that I would feel guilty for asking my friends to help me, and I still do not like it, but I also know myself well enough to know that public exposure to my trials will persuade me to commit to things, if for no reason other than fear of embarrassment or harsh judgment. So stay tuned, folks, The Plan is a-comin'.
That aside, I've also decided on a focus for a second blog. This one has become a journal of sorts, and while I have no problem writing in here, it is not a 'blog' in that it has no particularly unique or interesting perspective on anything. Nobody had any input for me, and so I had to ponder for awhile about what really gets me excited, and what I am passionate about. I figure that if I can identify those things, writing about them would become a joy, rather than a chore. My passions are as follows:
Comedy - I am a sucker for a good laugh. I spend hours every week focusing and refining my ability to induce those laughs in others, and would love to take a more critical, analytic approach to the subject
Travel - Visiting new places and meeting new people is always exciting, even if conditions are harsh. Louisiana/Mississippi low-income neighborhoods were not pleasant by any means, but I learned a great deal about myself and about people in general from the experience. I believe the same is true of any open-minded individual travelling to communities outside his/her home.
Narrative - English Literature Graduate programs at universities sometimes have an emphasis called "Narratology", which is, as it sounds, the study and examination of stories and storytelling techniques. This field is exactly what I would study in grad school, assuming I could find a program accepting of such a mediocre GPA as mine.
Communication - Like Narratology, Communication is one of the few things I would love to study in grad school. I am fascinated by communication techniques, and the things people can do to more effectively communicate with one another.
When I condensed all of this into a single sort of 'theme', I was left with the concept of Connection. I have often stated that I believe that modern American society has traded in connection for connectivity. That is a tragedy, in my mind, and one that can be resisted to some extent with just the tiniest bit of effort by an individual. Connection, then, will be a recurring theme throughout my new blog. The bloggy blog. I will not endeavor to be funny, or witty, or clever, only sincere. Sincere in my attempts to establish an honest, authentic connection with others, because if a person can do that, then they can also communicate effectively with others, empathize with them, and hopefully learn from them. I will be writing my first entry as soon as possible, as I am eager to get this started, and even more eager to keep it going, instead of dropping it like so many other projects and tasks in my past.
-Richard
QOTD:
""Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Help!
So, I'm well aware of my tendency as a writer and conversationalist to introduce tangents into my thoughts rather frequently. That's not too big a problem in conversation, and I can curb the tendency in academic writing, but in this format, I've noticed that I just happen to write about whatever is on my mind at the time. I think I'm going to keep this blog for that purpose, though I'm also considering starting up a second one, with a more directed focus. So, I'm asking for some input. These are the topics I am considering writing about:
Comedy, especially Improvisational (Improv) - techniques, rules, habits to break, habits to hold onto
Literature - something similar to one of my favorite blogs, Better Living Through Beowulf. The author writes about real-world experiences, and relates them back to poems and stories that he's read.
Storytelling - another "technique" oriented blog, focused on what works in storytelling, and what doesn't.
Academia - A blog on my school experiences and academic writings, as well as my experiences as a mentor next year, for a freshman.
Nutrition/Workout log - I think this one will happen here in the next couple of days regardless, now that I think about it. Meaning, I'll be running a total of 3 blogs, which should give me enough motivation to actually follow up on them. Especially if two of the three have a purpose aside from my own personal ramblings.
Any other ideas people might have.
I'm asking anybody who reads this to please comment with your thoughts. What would interest you? What would you like to read, and what would bore you? Take 2 minutes, and let me know!
Comedy, especially Improvisational (Improv) - techniques, rules, habits to break, habits to hold onto
Literature - something similar to one of my favorite blogs, Better Living Through Beowulf. The author writes about real-world experiences, and relates them back to poems and stories that he's read.
Storytelling - another "technique" oriented blog, focused on what works in storytelling, and what doesn't.
Academia - A blog on my school experiences and academic writings, as well as my experiences as a mentor next year, for a freshman.
Nutrition/Workout log - I think this one will happen here in the next couple of days regardless, now that I think about it. Meaning, I'll be running a total of 3 blogs, which should give me enough motivation to actually follow up on them. Especially if two of the three have a purpose aside from my own personal ramblings.
Any other ideas people might have.
I'm asking anybody who reads this to please comment with your thoughts. What would interest you? What would you like to read, and what would bore you? Take 2 minutes, and let me know!
I'm so bad at things!
So, once again, it has been far too long since my last post. Only a month this time, and I've already written on my to-do list (which is on my bathroom mirror) to write again tomorrow, so expect at least two posts in a row. Which is CRAZY, I know. Today, I feel like writing about Home. It's such a great word, in so many ways. It's been talked about to death in semi-clever little quotes and platitudes, so I will do my best to not sound sophomoric and sappy when I write about it, but I do honestly feel like the difference between having an apartment/house/flat/condo/studio, and having a "home", is that feeling of complete comfort and peace associated with the latter. I feel quite at home at my job, in my car, in my apartment, or in the theater we use to put on improv shows. Most of my daily life is spent "at home" in one place or another, and so my life is rather peaceful, calm, and quiet.
I hate it.
That isn't to say that I don't like having a nice place to return to at the end of the day. That's a luxury not granted to many people in the world, and not one that I am taking for granted. On the contrary, I am most appreciative for my apartment and my wonderful roommates. However, the sort of calm, quiet lifestyle that most of us have fallen into is making me crazy. I don't really need to engage with anything to get by, and that leaves me feeling quite unsatisfied at the end of the day. I believe this is what they call ennui, and I now understand its effect on people. I need a change. I need adventure, and stories, and experiences. I need the unexpected. Most importantly, I need to be doing what I love to do, instead of doing what I am expected to do. This 8-5 job, these lower-division, general elective classes, and this silly money business is just so damned tiresome. Give me stories, and people, and travel, and good beer and food, and laughter. Laughter most of all. Home is not "where the heart is", or any other silly saying like that. Home is ennui. Home is boredom, and everyone needs a little bit of that in their lives, but my God, too much can make you crazy.
QOTD:
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
I hate it.
That isn't to say that I don't like having a nice place to return to at the end of the day. That's a luxury not granted to many people in the world, and not one that I am taking for granted. On the contrary, I am most appreciative for my apartment and my wonderful roommates. However, the sort of calm, quiet lifestyle that most of us have fallen into is making me crazy. I don't really need to engage with anything to get by, and that leaves me feeling quite unsatisfied at the end of the day. I believe this is what they call ennui, and I now understand its effect on people. I need a change. I need adventure, and stories, and experiences. I need the unexpected. Most importantly, I need to be doing what I love to do, instead of doing what I am expected to do. This 8-5 job, these lower-division, general elective classes, and this silly money business is just so damned tiresome. Give me stories, and people, and travel, and good beer and food, and laughter. Laughter most of all. Home is not "where the heart is", or any other silly saying like that. Home is ennui. Home is boredom, and everyone needs a little bit of that in their lives, but my God, too much can make you crazy.
QOTD:
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
Friday, May 20, 2011
Waiting
Well, momentum has picked back up after a brief hiatus, and things are...dare I say it? Good. Like, really good. Surprisingly, I-don't-know-how-this-happened good. I got a 3.33 this semester, which is higher than I've ever gotten; I have 2 weeks to pack up my apartment, and 3 weeks to revise an essay I wrote, as it has been nominated for a Banks Award, which isn't really much, but it will certainly look good on a grad school resume, and I think there's like 100 bucks in it if I win. Which I will. I mean, I don't want to sound cocky or anything, but I'm determined to win this thing, and I know beyond even a shadow of doubt that I'm an excellent academic writer, so there's no reason to assume that I will lose, right? I suppose that being alright with life is far less interesting to you, reader, so I apologize for not having any tragicomical tales of my absurdly depressing life to share, but the moment the roof caves in, or the other shoe drops on me, I will be sure to let you know. Also, I have to run to work now, or I'd probably be compelled to write more ridiculous/funny story-type stuff on here. Because, you know, that's sorta the whole point of this blog, which I always seem to lose sight of. Just gotta remember to write more often, and I'll get back on that wagon. Which apparently is a metaphor for alcoholism. So, to clarify, the storytelling wagon is the one I'm getting back on. Not the alcoholism one. I was never on that one.
QOTD:
"Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don't see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself."
- Marianne Williamson
QOTD:
"Maturity includes the recognition that no one is going to see anything in us that we don't see in ourselves. Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself."
- Marianne Williamson
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Newton's First Law
Folks, it turns out I am very much a creature of inertia. When compelled to start hauling ass and taking care of things, like my life, I am apparently more than capable of the task. However, when there is nothing compelling me to keep going, I lose momentum to the friction of fatigue. This takes about 12 weeks to happen, but it has arrived at last. The past month or so, I haven't really been taking care of all of the things that I've been working on, instead focusing on just getting through school. I vow to pick up right where I left off, but it'll have to wait just 6 more days, until I'm done with these two papers, and then I can clean up my apartment, re-situate my workout schedule again, cook more than I have been (I've been hit-and-miss on that front, unfortunately...only 4ish nights/week), pack, get my sleep schedule shifted back the 90 minutes or so that it's crept up, and have a great summer, doing all of the things I've never been able to do during the summer in Moscow, since my job has me working during the day, M-F, instead of only in the evenings, when people are doing things. I'm looking forward to it, and especially looking forward to having time to plan ahead on things again.
In other thoughts, I've been curious about something recently, and I'm not sure what the solution to this question is, but...here we go. It seems like performers on the whole are perceived as caricatures and characters, rather than people. That is to say, when I do shows, people tend to see me as "That funny guy" rather than as a human being, and displace any desires or emotions I may have as being outside their perception of me as "a comedian". I exist, in their minds, exclusively as a source of humor and stories, and no regard is given to me when I'm serious about something, or when I stop kidding and attempt to carry out an intelligent discourse with someone. I've spoken with actors here at the university as well, and this seems to be a pretty universal sentiment. Case in point: Met up with some friends, and one started talking about politics, mentioning that "Bin Laden's death had nothing to do with Obama", and spouting off the ridiculous bullshit that conservatives have been putting up on Facebook in response to the event. I argued with her, stating that President Obama had no hand in "deciding whether or not to pay soldiers", and went on to explain the structure of the US government and the realities behind the potential shutdown. She refused to acknowledge my input, because "what do I know, I'm just a comic".
Because apparently, being a comic is exclusive of having any sort of intelligence whatsoever, or even a fundamental grasp on the nature of the United States government.
Second case: Was chatting with another girl after one of my classes. Casually asked her if she'd like to come to a play I'm going to on Friday night, and she replied with "Wow..well, I never even really thought about you like that, you know? You're funny in your shows, but...I guess I never expected you to ask anyone out."
What the hell does that mean?! Really? Because I'm a comic, I'm no longer single, or a human being? Eff you, Ms. B.L. Rejection is one thing, and happens sometimes (about 60% of the time?). I'm fine with that. This just makes me bitter.
Quote today is incredibly relevant, as it's something I've been wrestling with for a couple of weeks now.
QOTD:
"I used to think that humor was the only way to appreciate how wonderful and terrible the world is, to celebrate how big life is. But now I think the opposite. Humor is a way of shrinking from that wonderful and terrible world."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)
In other thoughts, I've been curious about something recently, and I'm not sure what the solution to this question is, but...here we go. It seems like performers on the whole are perceived as caricatures and characters, rather than people. That is to say, when I do shows, people tend to see me as "That funny guy" rather than as a human being, and displace any desires or emotions I may have as being outside their perception of me as "a comedian". I exist, in their minds, exclusively as a source of humor and stories, and no regard is given to me when I'm serious about something, or when I stop kidding and attempt to carry out an intelligent discourse with someone. I've spoken with actors here at the university as well, and this seems to be a pretty universal sentiment. Case in point: Met up with some friends, and one started talking about politics, mentioning that "Bin Laden's death had nothing to do with Obama", and spouting off the ridiculous bullshit that conservatives have been putting up on Facebook in response to the event. I argued with her, stating that President Obama had no hand in "deciding whether or not to pay soldiers", and went on to explain the structure of the US government and the realities behind the potential shutdown. She refused to acknowledge my input, because "what do I know, I'm just a comic".
Because apparently, being a comic is exclusive of having any sort of intelligence whatsoever, or even a fundamental grasp on the nature of the United States government.
Second case: Was chatting with another girl after one of my classes. Casually asked her if she'd like to come to a play I'm going to on Friday night, and she replied with "Wow..well, I never even really thought about you like that, you know? You're funny in your shows, but...I guess I never expected you to ask anyone out."
What the hell does that mean?! Really? Because I'm a comic, I'm no longer single, or a human being? Eff you, Ms. B.L. Rejection is one thing, and happens sometimes (about 60% of the time?). I'm fine with that. This just makes me bitter.
Quote today is incredibly relevant, as it's something I've been wrestling with for a couple of weeks now.
QOTD:
"I used to think that humor was the only way to appreciate how wonderful and terrible the world is, to celebrate how big life is. But now I think the opposite. Humor is a way of shrinking from that wonderful and terrible world."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)
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